Let’s be honest here:

Most of us writers began our journey with the firm belief that we were amazing at our craft. Our teachers, friends, or family all said how great we were. Our writing was so strong.

Then, we got a dose of the actual writing world. We submitted books for publication and got rejected time after time. Our favorite blogs didn’t want a guest post from us. That newspaper wasn’t interested in our op-ed piece. 

Whatever it was, that rejection resulted in a new obstacle for us: fear.

As a result of this fear, many of us began limiting ourselves. We stopped trying new writing styles, instead sticking to safe areas of the market.

Unfortunately, this behavior does little for us. It avoids the pain of failing, yes, but it prevents growth. We cannot grow and evolve as writers when we do the same things day in and day out in the name of playing it safe.

Realizing I Was Held Back

If you don’t know and accept that fear is holding you back, you can’t fix it. The concept sounds cliche, but it’s true. Without awareness that an issue exists, you’ll do nothing about it.

I spent a good deal of time not even realizing that fear was holding me back. Thinking back on it, I wonder how I didn’t notice sooner. It seems obvious. I was writing almost daily and somehow never became aware of how fear influenced that.

Strangely, writing alone wasn’t what opened my eyes. It was actually art. I was working on a children’s book idea that I had. I had written several stories for it already. But that wasn’t good enough. I wanted to be the author and illustrator of the series.

Periodically, I’d work on the drawings. The style I wanted wasn’t my usual art style, so I wasn’t used to it. I was testing and working toward achieving the picture that was in my head. In the meantime, I wasn’t submitting my children’s book idea. There were no agent queries, no examination into publishing options, nothing.

At the time, I was thinking that having total control over the story and the art would give me the greatest amount of negotiating power. If the story needed tweaking, I could do that. If the art wasn’t appealing, I could change that, too. In essence, me having complete control over the creative part of the book would limit my rejection.

I noticed I was holding myself back from getting my book published because of that. Being the illustrator wasn’t necessary. Hell, someone else with a style that actually matched my dream would do it better than I could.

I ended up being right, in a way. I was so scared that my book wouldn’t get published, that I wasn’t trying until it was “perfect.” My book wasn’t getting published, just like I feared. But it wasn’t getting published because I wasn’t putting it out there.

Breaking the Cycle

Once I accepted that my fear of rejection was keeping me from moving forward, that handed me back the power.

With that knowledge, I noticed patterns in my way of thinking – patterns that ultimately held me back – and I eliminated them. For instance, I never sought an agent because my book wasn’t ready, according to my limiting beliefs. After I recognized that, I realized how stupid I was and actively query for my book now.

This has expanded into all areas of my life. I have an easier time recognizing where I’m holding myself back because I accept that I’m the only one capable of it. With writing, I routinely talked myself down from doing a blog. I either “didn’t have time” or “had nothing of interest to share.”

Wrong!

My time was, and still is, limited. But that doesn’t mean I have no time. Just 30 minutes a day is plenty to get working on writing something. At the end of it all, it was a limiting belief. I was scared of failing at my blog. Of having it not be successful or profitable. Well, let me tell you: it would never have been successful if I had never made it.

That’s the sort of thinking that I’m talking about. Those limiting ideas that we sit and convince ourselves are true, instead of accepting that they are excuses we make.

Accepting and recognizing this fear is a wonderful thing. But remember that it’s not an automatic fix. I didn’t wake up one day, realized my fear held me back, and then went about my life with those thoughts gone.

It took time. I still struggle with it in certain areas of my life. Recognizing it is the first step, and an important one. But it isn’t the only one.

Over time, thinking without these limiting beliefs gets easier. In the beginning, it’s a near-constant battle with yourself. The more you do something, the easier it becomes. Trust me on that. I have plenty of personal experience to back it up.

So, just keep going and stay the course.

What’s a belief that’s holding you back? 

Feel free to share. I’d love to hear about it and we can all support one another along the journey.